This Is Hilarious to Me

I am working hard on cleaning up the Batcave.  I got a new computer and desk and now I have to get it all organized.  Let's just say it's been nearly a week and I'm maybe a third of the way through it all. It may take a village.

I am examining a lot of stuff as I am doing a major purge.  I ran across some DVD's that were old and decided to see if there was anything on them that was worth keeping.

Well, I found this little gem.  I laughed so hard.

In August of 2010 I took a little trip (on my own) to visit our daughter in Alaska. This would be the same daughter who now brews beer in the wilds of Montana. I took along a sweet little point and shoot digital camera with a Leica lens and I had so much fun.

When I returned I decided that I would make a great slide show to give to my parents and other family members for Christmas.

I'm pretty sure that nearly all of these shots are straight out of the camera with a bit of cropping done here and there.  There are some really bad shots and some good ones.  I even added words and music to the whole deal.

My sense of humor comes out pretty clearly in this dumb video.  I am pretty much a sarcastic goofball.

The video is about 16 minutes long, so just sit back for a bit.  I recommend that you not drink a soda while watching as you may squirt it out of your nose and that burns, people.  I laughed a lot at some of the dumb stuff in it.  Feel free to comment below about what you found to be funny.

This was made using old technology so it may glitch a bit with the music.  I had a little trouble on my computer with lagging.

Warning:  there is a huge pile of bear scat in here somewhere.  Not even kidding.

It Was Hidden and I'm Kind of Pissed Off About It

My movie pal and I went to see a pretty great movie called "Hidden Figures" the other day.  It has garnered a lot of attention recently and that attention is well deserved.  This movie is cool.

Dorothy Vaughan

Octavia Spencer is Dorothy Vaughan, the computer whiz who teaches herself FORTRAN.  Yes, I remember that language.  I am that old.

Taraji P. Henson is Katherine Johnson, the incredibly gifted math genius who helps figure out...well, I couldn't tell you what she figures out because it IS rocket science.

Katherine Johnson

And Janelle Monae is Mary Jackson, an engineering prodigy who cannot be an engineer (maybe, maybe not) because she is female, black and it is 1961 in Virginia.  Enough said.

I am a complete sucker for anything Kevin Costner is in and he honestly doesn't disappoint here.  He is still a stud in my book.  Plus, he had some pretty good lines and I love it when he's funny.

It is rare that I go to a movie and not get a little antsy.  Even the best ones get me a little shifty in my seat.  "Hidden Figures" (running time 2hr 7 min) kept me completely engaged.  I never checked my watch once.  Maybe it was because I was laughing a lot.  Or maybe it was because the audience was really getting into it and clapping and cheering at all the right spots.  Or maybe it was because this is just a damn fine movie.

Mary Jackson

Now on the flip side, this movie kind of pissed me off.  That's right.  Why?  Because I want to know how in the hell I had never heard of the human computers that worked their asses off at NASA.  You shouldn't have to be a Women's Studies major to find out about these amazing people.  I don't really care if they were black, white, yellow or purple polka dotted; they and all other women who have had a hand in important work, should be celebrated along with the men.  Add the fact that these computers were African American and I honestly do not understand how they ever got anything accomplished. But they did.  Amazing.

I do remember the events recreated in this movie.  And I do remember that we saw women working for NASA well before they were common place anywhere else.  I also remember thinking that those women must have been pretty smart.  I guess it's the glasses.

Hidden Figures movie

Christmas Ramblings

I haven't done any home decor posts for a while so I thought it would be fun to post some pictures of my Christmas decorating efforts this past year.

I am definitely not a decorator.  I did pick out and do everything except for one arrangement which I will note.  I need to work harder at this.

All is put away now.  Some is set aside for my daughter to take with her when she gets her own place. Some will be donated.  The rest is tucked into boxes. I am going to put more thought into it next year. Brave words uttered in January.

Hopefully you will enjoy these pics.  Oh, and because I don't have my new, powerful machine set up, these were taken with my iPhone 7.

I actually took out some of the drawers from this card file and put some decorations on the sliding part.  This was a super easy way to display more stuff.

I have this old toolbox that I found at a sale in the middle of the corn somewhere in upper Iowa.  I threw in the balls and added one of those battery operated light thingys.  Ta da.  Instant decoration.

I bought this huge tree last year and I'm still getting ornaments for it.  It kind of takes over, but it has over 1000 lights and that is why I got it.  Head into the light.

So what did I do with those drawers from the card file?  Well, here is one.

There's another.

And another.

A few years ago I wrapped my twinkle lights with fabric strips.  I still love it so much.

We use this dumb stool all of the time.  The basket is just cool.  I got that from a local shop.  It's all gnarly, of course.

Probably the area that needs the most work.  I will try and start to flesh it out before December this time.  

Nearly all of these snowmen will not make an appearance next year.  I will figure something out.  Kind of tired of them.

I found this bucket at a sale this past year and was going to plant things in it, but I wound up using it for plant clippings instead.  Now it has a lovely arrangement that I jobbed out to a local shop.  They know what they are doing.  I don't.  It's that simple.  I will need a new bucket.

That's it.  My house at Christmas.  I don't do much anywhere else.  A couple of other trees and a few decorations around the house and that's it.  I kind of miss this on the coffee table, actually.  Too bad it is silver and glittery.  I don't think I can get by with it outside of Christmas.

This was my Christmas card this year.  I took the shot, but my brother did the post processing.  I gave a big one to my son for his apartment in Brooklyn.  I thought that was appropriate.

Merry Christmas (a little late).

Sing!

Ha.  Because I have given up writing on Facebook, I will post my movie reviews here.  Hopefully that will give me the kick in the ass I need to write more often.

Unfortunately, I won't have any pictures so I will keep this short.

Go see Sing!  I rarely go to animated movies because the crowd is noisier than I would like.  This one is a winner and is pretty awesome on the big screen.  It is a very clever story idea and it is fleshed out admirably with tons of great music that everyone will know.  Besides, there are some big stars in this; Reese Witherspoon, Matthew McConaughey, Seth McFarlane and Jennifer Hudson to name a few.

The ideas behind the implementation of the animation are simply incredible.  I don't know who thinks up this stuff but they are completely brilliant.  The story is solid, but remember, it is an animated feature so no surprises here.  I did actually have a tear in my eye at one point.  And I kind of have a crush on Johnny, the Gorilla.

If you don't like to watch 'cartoon' movies, then at least watch it when it comes out on DVD.

Borrow a kid and go see this one.

PS:  I had the pleasure of watching the movie "Room" on Amazon Prime the other day.  You need to see this.  Totally brilliant, people.  Totally brilliant.

Cabbage Slaw

Ok.  I don't know why I'm posting recipes all of a sudden.  It's probably because I've been spending too much time in the kitchen and its rubbing off a bit too much.

Anyway, here is a recipe for Cabbage Slaw.  It's a great salad for summer.  I don't think that we add chicken very often.  We usually just leave that part out.

Enjoy.

CABBAGE SALAD

Recipe:

Cabbage – either shred one head or purchase a couple of packages of Cole slaw         cabbage

Ramen noodles

2 T rice vinegar

¼ cup oil

Equal (substitute sugar)

Cooked chicken, chopped

Sunflower seeds

Green onions

Salt

Pepper

Combine vinegar, oil and Equal and shake well.  This is the dressing.  Combine cabbage with chicken, sunflower seeds, and green onions.  Toss until well mixed.  Top with dressing and add salt and pepper to your taste.  Toss again and refrigerate.  When ready to serve, break up Ramen noodles and place over top.  Toss until well mixed.

FYI:

-You may have to add a bit more oil, vinegar or Equal depending on your taste

-Equal is a sugar substitute and tends to mix well with the oil and vinegar.  You can use regular sugar, but it doesn’t mix as well.  Sweet ‘n Low would work also.

Alaska Girl's Favorite Cake

Alaska Girl isn't hard to please.  Her very favorite cake of all is a simple little one called Texas Sheet Cake.  It is seriously so easy to make.  She requests it for every birthday and we had several at her high school graduation.  The hardest part of this cake is making sure that you have some buttermilk on hand.  Or, you know how to make a form of buttermilk with milk and vinegar.

So, in honor of Alaska Girl's upcoming birthday, I thought that I would share this recipe.  Happy Birthday!

TEXAS SHEET CAKE

Special equipment needed:

Jelly roll pan

Hand mixer

Recipe:

Cake

2 sticks butter or margarine

4 T. cocoa

1 cup water

2 cups flour

2 cups sugar

1 t. baking soda

¼ t. cinnamon

1 t. vanilla

½ cup buttermilk

2 eggs

Grease and flour the jelly roll pan.  Melt the butter, cocoa and water in a medium sized saucepan on the stove.  Bring to a boil.  Mix the rest of the ingredients together.  Add chocolate mixture.  Pour into jelly roll pan and bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.  Cool.

Frosting

1 stick margarine or butter

4 T cocoa

6 T milk

1 box powdered sugar

Heat the margarine or butter, cocoa and milk to boiling.  Add powdered sugar, a little at a time while beating.  Chopped nuts can also be added.  Frost cooled cake.

Spanx A Lot

Because I get up so early I try and at least have an idea of what I am going to wear each day.  I don't always follow through, but for the most part I manage to look decent.

This morning I chose to wear a dress that I haven't worn in a bit.  I also chose to wear Spanx under it. For those of you who are guys or who have simply been living under a rock for the past 20 years here is a little history lesson: Spanx are this day and age's version of a corset or girdle (Do not ask me to explain a girdle.  Geez).

Spanx come in different modes.  You can get a bottom half version, a top half version or a full length version.  You can get slips, leggings, tanks.  You name it.  They suck you in like a champ.  Voila. Gone are the jiggly parts.  Or at least the jiggly parts are less jiggly than without the Spanx.

I have two pair of these modern marvels.  One is a tank and one is a slip style that hits me mid thigh.  I don't ever use the tank, but I do use the slip.

Today I grabbed the slip to wear.  I had recently washed it and had not yet worn it again.  I slipped it on over my head.

Now, I have to digress here because Spanx are nearly impossible to put on over your head.  In fact, you are supposed to step into them and pull. Pull hard. I was trying to take a short cut.

As I said, I slipped the Spanx over my head and pulled down.  Oh lord. Something was very wrong. I must have shrunk my Spanx in the wash as it would only reach to the bottom of my hips.  Shit.  These suckers cost a lot of money.  Dammit.

I started pulling and it started stretching.  I got the slip to my upper thighs (breathing hard now).  This just wasn't right. What had I done?

I decided to start over and step into the slip like you are supposed to do. I was hoping that the width of my hips would help the Spanx stop in the proper place and then I could just stretch it up to my arms and all would be good.

The arm holes were down to my ribcage.  The neckline was down to my navel and I couldn't stand up straight.  This wasn't right.  What had I done to my very expensive Spanx slip?  How do I return it without the tag?  It's obviously defective because I followed the washing label.  Shit.  Shit.  Shit.

Have I mentioned that I'm not really a morning person?  I am forced into being one by having to adult.

I hereby solemnly swear that the next time I need to wear my Spanx slip I will take both the slip and the tank out of my drawer and compare them to each other.  I will then carefully walk the slip into the bathroom for further use. I will leave the tank in the drawer.  So help me God.

The Moose Whisperer

I have a grand niece.  She is two and a half.  She is afraid of a big stuffed Moose that my mom and dad have in a hall corner at their condo.  This moose is about 3 1/2 feet tall and wears boots and gloves.  She tries very hard to convince herself that she isn't afraid of the Moose.  She even verbalizes her affirmations out loud.  Doesn't work.  Being the kind and benevolent aunt that I am, I bought a small Moose and gave it to my Dad for Christmas.  Now we have Moose 1 and Moose 2.

She continually asks about the Moose.  Since she usually sees me at mom and dad's place, she assumes that I live with the Moose. She asks me about him all of the time.  Go home see Moose?  I not afraid of Moose.  You see Moose?  Yeah, she won't go anywhere near the thing.

I wish that I had a picture of the Moose.  I don't.  I do, however, have a few pics of my Dad and my niece together.  I will always be glad that I have these.

PS:  They are playing "This Little Pig".  Also, most of these are a little out of focus, partly because she was moving and partly because I had it at a low aperture setting for better exposure.  The yellow cast is probably from the filter that I always forget to remove.

What the What??

Below is a picture of a dead fly.  I took this picture a month or so ago.  It is laying on our bed. Someone brought it to us.  When I went up a couple of hours later, it was gone.  Someone ate it.

Life with cats.  They giveth and they taketh away.

'Heads Up' Travelers

I am here to serve and advise.

Keeping that in mind, here is a short tutorial on travel containers of shampoo and gel and how to use them.

1 - The above is a container of travel shampoo.  It is not labeled.  That is because if you label the conditioner you will always know which is which.  And you can't read the damn labels in the shower without your glasses anyway.

2 - The above is a travel hair gel.  Note that it is clearly labeled as such.

Now here is the most important part of the tutorial:  NEVER USE NUMBER 1 AS NUMBER 2.

If you use the travel shampoo as hair gel, you will not get the results that you want.  I guarantee it.  In fact, you may go around all day with undiluted shampoo in your hair and wonder why your hair looks like shit.  You may not realize why until the next day when you almost make the exact same mistake AGAIN.  (Hint:  if your 'hair gel' foams when you put it in your wet hair, it is probably shampoo.  If this happens, bend your head over the tub and rinse it out.  Start over again with the gel this time.)

I repeat:  NEVER USE NUMBER 1 AS NUMBER 2.

This post is over.  I have to go label my travel shampoo.  In big letters.

Inside a Mom's Mind

Alaska Girl lives in Montana now.  She is brewing beer.  Luckily, you all are thirsty, so she has a good gig.

She has a great dog named Rach (Rock).  He is a Karelian Bear Dog and I have devoted entire posts to him. He is the bad boy your mother always warned you about; completely charming, but watch out. The last time he got away (by smashing through the screen door) he went down to the bar and she got a call that he was there and could she come get him.  He wasn't causing any trouble, just getting petted and fed probably. Like I said, bad boy.

Rach trees bears.  He trees snow leopards or pumas or lynx or whatever.  He chases moose off of your path. He is fearless.  He doesn't even mind guns or loud noises or snowmobiles or anything.

Alaska Girl has had pretty crappy winter weather where she is.  Now, her version of crappy is not much snow.  That's my version of awesome.  Suffice it to say that she has been able to train outside on the trails in shorts.  Yeah.

Apparently, the last time she ran on the trail it wasn't good.  She posted a picture on Instagram and I asked her about it.  She told me it was the creepiest run she had ever done on the trail.  Rach was spooked and kept trying to back up.  This set off alarm bells for her and awareness was high. Luckily, nothing happened and she was able to get by the scary last tree and get safely into the car.

She then told me about the 2 dogs that had been attacked in her town by mountain lion.  Of course, there are always bear in town - around 2 a.m. is when Rach sets off the alarm, charging at the windows.  The mountain lion are something new and no one seems to know why they are coming into town.  Great.

I'm not sure I needed to know about the mountain lions.  Or the fact that Rach was spooked.

However, being the awesome mom that I am, I calmly suggested that perhaps he knew more than she did and maybe she should confine her runs to town for the time being.  She said that is what she has been doing because the fact that he was spooked and nervous really scared her.

So here is my assessment on the situation.  Read below for a take on how a mom's mind really works.

Here is my version of Rach.  Fierce protector.  Notice the lynx in the top branch.  If this dog is scared, pay attention.

This is a mountain lion.  It is ready to pounce on my daughter, dog or no dog.

This is a grizzly.  It is also ready to attack my daughter.

This is how I see my daughter.  While she may be a pink leopard, she is no match for the mountain lion and the grizzly bear.

Voila.  The inner workings of a mom's mind.  Now you know.  There is no off switch, just a looped video of these images that run through my mom mind constantly.

In all reality, this is probably what is out there.

Love you, Alaska Girl.

I Lied, Sort Of

I really didn't mean to lie or fib or anything.  I thought that I was back.  What I forgot to do was look at the calendar.  Blog goes on the back burner when it is anywhere close to Christmas.  Sorry 'bout that.  I hope that I didn't lose too many of you.

I did finally take pictures of my completed bathroom.  Ta da!  I have some ideas for more posts, so I am going to try and get back on this band wagon.

To help jog all of our memories, I will post the closest pre-reno pics that I have and then the post-reno.  Hit it!

So here is the pre-reno entry into the bathroom.  You can see on the left the end of the current linen closet and how close it is to the door.  There was no room for a towel rack.

Now the entry is far brighter and the closet has been turned to face the entry rather than facing the interior of the room itself.

The old linen closet that opened into the room.

Yes, it was very roomy, but we don't miss it.

Here is the little closet that we had installed.

Yes.  It is a great deal smaller, but takes up far less room and is enough for what we need.

The view towards the front window.  That shelf was a cheap built in that was easily removed.  We found out that the insulation in the entire room was completely inadequate, so that was added into the remodel.  It was well worth the unexpected expense and now that room is probably the warmest in the house.

This is under the window now.  My very own window seat.  I do share with the kitties.

I made the cushion and pillows.  I bought a 2 or 3 inch thick foam piece at Joann's and then I purchased 3 different pieces of outdoor fabric from Hancock to cover two of the pillows and the bench seat.  The little light blue pillow I covered using extra fabric from the curtains that I had hemmed.

I am no great seamstress.  This is a very simple envelope pillow.

Here is the little one I made with the leftover fabric and a random piece of trim that I had.

The best part of the window seat is that it hides all of our linens.

I purchased some baskets at Target and all of our linens fit in here.  I love it.

They used a large piano style hinge on the lid.

The pre-reno view towards the sink/toilet area and side window.

And the view now.  We have so much more room on and in the vanity. 

The old tub/shower combination.  Notice the nasty floor.

The view now.  And of course, there is a comfort height toilet hidden in the alcove.

This is the old shower.

And this is my fabulous shower now.  Yes, that is a light above the shower.  I love it.

So now you have seen the full renovation of our upstairs bath.  We absolutely love it and I usually can't believe that it's ours.  I had a great team behind me, but ultimately, it was a lot of work running around looking at tile, fixtures, curtains, fabric, trim, etc.  I am thrilled with the results.

The only thing I have left to do is add any artwork.  I am so slow at that.  I also have an idea for a furniture piece, but that takes a while to find.  When I do find it, I will post it.

Thanks for waiting.